Märt Saars blog

Viira Margareta smiles

2011-08-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

Here you can see our new daughter. Apparently, she started also smiling. On this video you will also hear Noomis voice and Wilmas kiss. What a women world in our house!

Baltic Bread Project

2011-03-27T19:56:00.001-07:00

We visited Latvia with our School of Leaders youth leaders. It was first time and ton of fun. Basically three day long mission-trip. We were in 4 cities and together with Latvians and few americans shared gospel face-to-face with about 500 people.

As most of this blog readers know, mission-trip is time where you see God do miracles and change people lives. I find it also a great tool for team-building and equipping hands-on for ministry.

Not only we equipped 4 local ministries there (Riga, Cesis, Valmiera, Liepa) and here in Estonia (Tallinn, Tartu, Pärnu, Kunda), but our team was also equipped with a great tool. Its called Baltic Bread Project. I think inventors are from Youth With A Mission.

Idea is simple. You take about 20 black breads in groups of two and go on the streets. You give the bread to people and say that this is for free and it is a symbol of Gods love for us. Just as he gave His son is this bread free for people. You have also small flier that reminds the same message. If person is interested you can continue with talking more about God and Gospel.

Most interesting part is that you see their reaction towards Gods grace in few seconds. Secondly, you find it surprising that people are more open for gifts from God than from you. (They do not want to take bread if you say it is just from you).

If Lord wills I will start using that gospel tool also in Estonia.

Expecting third child!

2011-01-12T09:33:00.000-08:00

I say publicly that me and Greta are looking forward for 17th August 2011, since then should we see our third child!

We saw ultrasound and he/she was doing great. Only 9 weeks old, but everything so far is OK.

Thankful for also your prayers, since it does make our life little more complicated. But also more fruitful!

Small rally-video:

War eagle

2011-01-10T21:28:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to say: "War eagle!"

(not that i have any favorites... this is just the only team whose game I have seen Live as I was in States)

Greetings from snowy Estonia

2010-11-08T02:02:00.001-08:00

Leaving home

2010-10-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

New home video

2010-06-23T05:42:00.001-07:00

Beloved daughters

2010-05-11T04:59:00.000-07:00

These are my beloved daughters who I am well pleased.

Story of Kätlyn

2010-04-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

"There is a family living 5 meters from us. Father Andres and mother Kätlyn, young as we, with 2 sons. A half year ago we did not know each other, but now we are good friends. During these months God has done many miracles and Kätlyn has become a Christian. And now Kätlyn is giving her first testimony how she became a follower of Christ."

This is a introduction to a story Kätlyn that was published in our last newsletter called "Good news from the Saars". If you are interested reading it, please let me know!

I will send it to you with e-mail.

3 pages of good news covers all our Josiah Venture ministry in Estonia, giving you also pictures and details about our family. There is a movement of God in Estonia and you do not want to miss hearing about it!

Let me know: m2rt@k-oma.ee

Heading back

2010-03-20T03:30:00.000-07:00

These are my legs as I'm heading back to Estonia. Subic Bay sun burnt my legs into big red things.

I'm very happy for a privilege to serve Christ by coming to Philippines. Thankful for Dann Spader and Steve Hudson who led us all into bigger vision for impacting millions of youth around the world into disciplemakers.

There is one saying:

"Hi sir."

I have heard that sentence so many times that I am fulfilled with respect that Philipinos are able to give without knowing:) These small brown-skinned asians are one welcoming and open christian people.

Keep my travel to home in prayers as I am staying one night in HongKong. As well Greta and Wilma+Noomi who are waiting expectantly their great hero to arrive home.

Im ready to serve Christ again in my country.

2 fathers

2010-03-17T22:06:00.000-07:00

Look at this picture. I have found 2 fathers on the globe. Right one just recently, and his name is Abraham (hebrew: father of all nations). Left one is Roger, he is my father in law.

Both of them lead movements of people. Roger in Finland, mobilizing Workers to do the work of Union. Abraham in India, mobilizing Christians to do the work of Jesus.

They are very similar indeed. They process and express their thoughts in a similar way. Both have a lot of experience and common sense of humor. Both have wife at home and love their daughters, very much.

Not to mention their close ties to Swedish culture and people.

I am glad indeed I have found them.

Trip to Philippines

2010-03-13T06:17:00.000-08:00

This coming week I will be in Philippines at Global Youth Initiative. It is a movement of God where also our Eastern-Europe region is part of. I will be there to study how Jesus multiplied leaders.

It will be a lot of fun. 90F/35 Celsius warm. Crazy, compared to snowy Estonia.

There i will also finish my 30-day study on resting. I will take also time to search for Dave Patty (my mentor) fathers thumb that was left there during building-times.

Pray for Greta, Wilma and Noomi as they are alone at home.

Pray that Greta would have a lot of energy and sleep.

Pray that car won't brake down.

Pray that Greta would rely on Jesus power and presence.

Trip ahead

2010-02-09T01:32:00.000-08:00

I am now in the phase where Jesus was long time ago. He was traveling around the country with his closest disciples with him. Last week we traveled through Western-Estonia, taking 2 leaders with us, visiting 3 youth-ministries and proclaiming gospel on the run.

It is fun.

This time it will take 2 days. Please pray that as we travel with Innar, Kuldar and Andrus... we could have lot of blessings to give to many. And that outcome would be growth in Christs church.

Please pray also for our families, since they will be with the children for many hours. That homes wouldnt get too messy during that time and babies would take time to smile.

My vacation

2010-01-30T12:22:00.000-08:00

I spent my vacation in Finland. This is where my Better Half is from. Thank you Roger and Margareta for letting me have opportunities to rest. Thanks for taking care of Wilma and Noomi!

Wilma and commands

2010-01-05T06:06:00.000-08:00

Unbelieveing Estonians Believing

2009-12-28T04:05:00.000-08:00

I live in a very weird nation. Some have called it forest-people. People who would rather stay under the trees, watching the village-life. Feeling some-why secure because of that and showing fists and making comments about things that are foreign to their eyes.

"Christianity is irrelevant" is so true, even though it sounds like a cliche.

It is weird how people have as if magic shoes that take them to graveyards with candles to be with their ancestors. It is weird to see people desiring this feel from church. It is weird to have neighbors who ask what star was up when I (the lucky and blessed one) was born.

Gospel is not on the highway here. People don't let it in, and sick don't get healed. What shall a prophet do?

It puts me into situation where it is hard to love God and people.

Small daughters

2009-12-17T14:46:00.000-08:00

My daughters are small. Very small.

Noomi moves her lips to find food.

Wilma puts her fingers on everyones mouth.

Little Noomi sleeps all the time.

Wilma wants to stay awake all the time.

Noomi does not know, but gives lot of kisses.

Wilma knows and takes many kisses.

And father is proud.

One can change all

2009-12-11T04:01:00.000-08:00

Now is Noomi week old and lot has already changed. Interesting how much a person (just a new small person) can change...

1. Wilma is more excited

2. And all of us sleep less during nights

3. And all of us sleep more during days

4. Greta gets more done if Märt stays at home

5. Greta gets less done if Märt stays at home and is not focused

6. We have more guests

7. We do not have to cook so much, because guests bring food

8. Plus, stool brakes if Greta has time to sit on Märts lap

Nothing about Noomi, but a lot about family she has changed.

Noomi Amanda is born

2009-12-04T06:00:00.000-08:00

This morning at 6:55 was born Noomi Amanda Saar. She is cute little girl who weights 4,296kg and is 51cm tall. We are glad that our Heavenly Father has trusted us that precious baby to our home!

Let us rejoice together!

Greta should be birthing

2009-12-02T02:16:00.000-08:00

Today is the day when Greta should be birthing. Its 2nd December and all three are ready. It might happen that it takes 2 weeks more time, since me, Greta and Wilma - all of us - have been delayed.

Lets Skype

2009-11-29T22:47:00.000-08:00

Hello my friend. I would love to be in contact with you! But as i have seen, about 80% of e-mails do not get responded.

I would love to hear back from you. Please add me to your skype-account and let me know what is your phone-nr.

My skype is:

gresvanfors (Märt and Greta Saar)

Märts day

2009-11-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

Today is My day. This a day Lord has made. This is a day I want to hear many blessings and words of affirmations. Estonian calendar says only once in a year that this is my day. Märtsday.

Here are also some other famous Märts in Estonia. You can celebrate us!

15 hats

2009-11-02T03:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what hats are you wearing. These are called to be your identities behind your responsibilities. Some of them are easy to wear, some need long-term learning.

I am wearing "son hat", but also "father hat". Sometimes, especially when I am tired and not able to clarify, this brings confusion to people what hat am I wearing.

I have 15 hats. How many hats you have?

My hats are:

Husband

Son

Brother

Father

Relative

Director of Koma

Board-member of Koma

Leader of Youth-movement in Koma

Churchmember in Risttee

Smallgroup leader in Risttee

Fundraiser

Evangelist

Disciplemaker

Trainer

Starter

Jaak and repenting

2009-10-28T13:57:00.001-07:00

As many of you know there is God moving in Estonia right now. Even in Tartu, as i heard in States. This movement of Spirit started happening in a strong way when one 21-old guy got lost.

It was Jaak, one friend of our church-youth, who got lost. He was at night (4pm) by nightclub and then walked away and disappeared. As he has many friends, many have started searching for him.

Police went through the river Emajõgi. And as one of the witch of Estonia (called Sergei) claimed: he knows where he is! He is still in Tartu, by the Raadi airport and still alive... Lot of people went to search him. And surprise-surprise, his friends said that they are in a situation where they would believe even in UFOs.

But some have started searching not for just Jaak, but for kingdom of God! And as we are searching both Jesus Christ and Jaak, many of our church-people have started repenting. Confessing their sins and praying.

There are lot of healed marriages and cured friendships. There are many chains-of-sins that have got loose during these past 3 weeks.

Many have witnessed that lot of things started happening when Romanian prohpet Theo came to town. Who could have known that as he was just visiting my little sister, that God is doing something much bigger?

Listen to Theos preaching from Risttee podcast. (Meedia: Kutse meeleparandusele I osa)

Sin during Sabbath

2009-10-26T13:08:00.000-07:00

Why was Sabbath created? Was man for Sabbath or was that day of rest and recreation for man? It was for a man, and not to make his life more difficult, but easier. So said a man who claimed himself to be a Lord of the Sabbath.

I truly have experienced what does it feel to sin during Sabbath. And i think, man - it's not a good thing.

I was 3 weeks in States and 4th week in Estonia I survived. Every day i slept, and on 5th day i became ill. I had a fever and my sheets became sweaty. It was a sweat of selfish sin.

Look at the soil and see what happens with it when you use it too much. Soil-structure becomes weak and it gets destroyed. Look at the berries and see what do they want to do every 2nd or 3rd year.

God has created rest into our structure. We need it. You should look not only soil or berries, but also yourself and see that you are not a Lord of Sabbath. But someone really is and cares for you.

We really do not need to sweat the sheets.

Dead man walking

2009-10-22T06:58:00.000-07:00

God is a provider. We are consumers. It definitely is so.

As I have been back in Estonia, I haven't done anything but sleeping and dead-walking. During my sleeps with Wilma, Greta has had opportunities to meet some of her friends. I get to sleep, Wilma gets to be in the most-warm lap and Greta creates relationships.

Who can say that God is not a multitask organizer, the real provider?

Btw, I had birthday on 20th October. I am now 25 years old. I did not party, but I still expect gifts:)

Back in Est

2009-10-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

Hi y'all. As our southern north-americans would say. We are back in Estonia. Innar went to get Siiri and Elli from Latvia. And Kuldar is with his family on his way back to our one of the most secular countries.

It is a joy to be back. Not only because its my birthday and i got 25 years old... but to start seeing people we are ministering again. Especially Greta and Wilma. They have grown alot. Greta has new haircut (little color in head) and Wilma speaks lot of Swedish.

I just cancelled one of our evangelism-training for lutheran youth, because we feel that we need to focus even more on fundraise. We did got more than 300 contacts from States, but keeping relationships needs right now lot of attention!

Please pray that i would be a good friend for many as my new 2/4th century starts.

Last vision-cast in States

2009-10-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

Me, Innar and Kuldar with our families are part of movement of God in Eastern-Europe. I know that in States there are about 1 non-profit organization per 100 people.

Thats is a lot! And here indeed is a lot of charity and fundraising.

But we know that Christ is building his church in Estonia right now and even gates of hell cannot stand against Him. And this is the reason why we are looking for divine connections here in Atlanta.

We see that Christ body is global and we do need to partner with each other. Gods plan is sovereign, our vision is compelling.

If you happen to be in ATL tonight you are welcomed to our last vision-cast. This will take place near Buckhead church at 7pm. Every Christ-lover is welcomed on a ride!

Park Regency Condominium

700 Park Regency Place NE

Atlanta, GA 30326

3 estonian man

2009-10-12T20:04:00.001-07:00

Me, Kuldar and Innar are like Paul, Barnabas and Luke. We are on our mission-trip here in Chicago, Minnesota, Ohio, Texas, California, Atlanta and Oklahoma. I have landed in Atlanta, tomorrow will Innar join with me.

We are here to let people know that Jesus is building his church in Estonia and even gates of hell/hades cannot stand against Him. Please do pray for us as we are sharing the good news and getting people involved!

My friend Kaido

2009-09-25T23:05:00.000-07:00

This is my old friend Kaido, who we haven't been in contact for 5-6 years. We always had same teachers, but never the same Messiah. Just 2 days ago I got SMS from him: "M2rt. I am Christian and I serve only Him."

Thank you Atlanta-people for investing so much into our Jesus-ministry here. And also taking time to talk more with Kaido and even make cool photos with him!

I will be in States from 1st October - 18th October

1st-7th Chicago

7th-9th Minneapolis

9th-12th Ohio

12th-18th Atlanta

See you around!

On a way to America

2009-09-23T09:56:00.000-07:00

I will go to United States soon. In order to talk also there about God. Actually we are going with whole bunch of us, even Innars and Kuldars families are coming with us.

But what would be some of the things that you would like to talk about Estonia and estonians? What would you say, and what symbolic pictures would you show if you would like to have others support estonians?

And yea... I need to practise some English now, you know.

Greta has birthday!

2009-09-16T08:38:00.001-07:00

Greta has birthday!

2009-09-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Good to be back

2009-09-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

This new year has come not with January first, but again with Septeber 1. It surprises me every year how Tartu becomes full of life and young people. They say that we have double amount youth here, not 20% as usually, but 40%.

I am highly motivated, because I know that if God is Allmighty and has done Everything. And if I am in Christ totally new creation, then who can stop me doing whatever I do for God?

This past summer was really evangelistic. And even though I have met on my way so many skeptics (more than atheists), this challenge - sharing life of Christ to others - is really boosting my adrealine.

I just got a call from Oleviste, church in Tallinn. They have around 140 youth gathered. Not long ago they had only 5 persons gathered together...

God is on the move. This gives me good sleep.

We like to talk

2009-08-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

2 weeks offline

2009-08-17T00:07:00.001-07:00

Hello all. I will be heading to the long-waited vacation. It will be for 2 weeks. Do not worry if you do not hear much about me during that time.

Quo vadis, Märt Saar

2009-08-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

Only week before the vacation and my head is still questioning my next years calling. I know that its not define or concrete as foundation of a house, but I still need to know where God is directing me.

Many people have questioned if I am serving in a position where I would have right gift-set. I think I do not. I do not like organizing for organizings sake. And I am not a team-person by heart, I must say.

That means I might not be king (system-person) nor priest (people-person). There is only one option more and this would be prophet (message-person). But it is still too abstract.

I am right now serving God in Koma and my mission is to equip young leaders to fulfill Christs commission. Greta just told me that the area of work seems to fit me... but again, what do i need to do after the vacation?

Should I continue doing camps? What about trainings? What about spending time with people? Who should I focus on? How should I instruct the team?

Quo vadis, Märt Saar. God knows.

Hitch-hiker became child

2009-07-31T12:01:00.000-07:00

I was heading back from island called Saaremaa, where we had a English Camp. And on the way I picked up 67-year old woman. With short hair and talkative mouth. Flowers in her hand she started talking and talking.

I tried to catch up and understand where she is in her faith. In some cases it succeeded. What radio are you listening? Do you know the word creation (creator) in southern dialect? Do you know the Russian word "malitsa" (to pray)?

As we drove 1 hour and entered Pärnu (our summer-capital), she was so sure that she hasn't sinned and is perfect. "I do not believe in after-life and even if there would be one, I will go to heaven."

And as we parked in Pärnu bus-station and spent some more time there, that was the moment when Justina repented and believed in the Gospel. We prayer together, testified sins, asked apologize and turned away from past life. I was so glad that I called her after hugging by mistake Justinus (guys name).

She closed the car door with a smile on her face. "Thank you for everything you gave me. I am now a new being. I am Gods child!"

Please pray that Justina would grow in her faith. And as we meet again in Tartu or at her place, her stomach would be full of spiritual food.

Greatest command

2009-07-23T23:43:00.001-07:00

I am very smart during nights. Maybe like you. Instead of sleeping I have good ideas coming and going, thoughts that leave a trail of genius to my head. There are also times for repentance in those nights.

I.e. I have found out that Great Commission what Jesus had really was not the Greatest. Greatest is to love our God.

Do you know what happens if you make millions of disciples, but without love to God? It is actually living for yourself and your challenges. To tears I have repented that great sin. It is not a weird story when Jesus asks Peter if he loves him.

He does not say: dude, I am leaving. Someone needs to take care of sheep. There should be billions of disciples made. And you are super in that. All he asks is: Do you love me? (3x)

This is the Greates Commands. To love God. This is where my motivation should come.

Partnership with Serbia

2009-07-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

There is one good exercise I can give you. Sit down for a sec. Ask God to reveal with his Spirit things that He wants. Ask that you could rewind your last week and memorize 3 best moments what you had.

These are Godly moments and these will last for many months, and years. You need those in order to remember how special are moments God has given you.

This summer I have had many discipleship moments. By the way, as I am going, I am making disciples. One guy who has helped me to become better disciple is Chaga. He is great guy from Serbia. Loves mosquito jokes and loves youth.

He explains God very simply.

This June for 5 days we were together. Thank you Finnish people who were partnering with us financially so we could train about 12+ young leaders and reach 200 youth. Outcome is: I love to evangelize whoever meets my way!

It is better if I rest

2009-07-06T00:25:00.000-07:00

Today is the day when lot of people in ministry say "no" to their calling. This is because of victories. Even Olympic game winners say that after the win there is a gap. Feeling that everything is behind.

We just finished our two first English Camps. We reached about 70 youth. And it definitely was awesome to see that those young people who have been raised in atheistic and post-communistic society saw and met real alive God!

In a small school Pala, where not long time ago bus full of youngsters crashed into a deadly truck-accident... this was a same place where 7 young people committed their lives to Jesus Christ.

It is energizing to be fruitful. But it also draws all energy out. I wanted to rest with my family in Tallinn, proclaim gospel in SongFest, say goodbyes to US teams and also shake the hand of Great Old Markus who got 30.

But no. I am too tired. Too tired even to love my wife.

I need to rest. This is a thing i do not know how to do.

Ready for camps

2009-06-26T17:41:00.000-07:00

Who has seen a movie Jesus Camp? It definitely is the one what shows a way of doing christian camp for children in a bad way. But who has been in English Camp in Estonia?

It definitely is a time of life-change for hundreds of youth in Estonia, and across Europe. Campus Crusade has surveyed that most of the lifechange happens in camps. About 75% of people get touched.

Well. I will be going to Jõgeva. Other part of the team will go to Elva/Pärnu youthministries. We will be reaching about 70 youth with first week. But 4 more camps are on the way waiting!

Thank you for praying! We had a midsummer-evangelism, we were bearing fruit not only in Tartu, but also in Jõgeva and Saku. It is great to see more and more youth believing that we are the ones who are on mission.

Pray that I would not burn out. It is sin.

Jesus Christ ruled in Saku Suurhall

2009-05-30T03:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday started our nations biggest evangelical crusade we have had since start of the freedom. Franklin Graham came to Tallinn after year-long preparation.

Saku Suurhall, our biggest arena was full. About 7000 people heard the message of the Gospel. Including our dear nanny, Keili! I had a privilege to walk with her infront of Jesus!

It wasnt an event. It is a movement, that has already started!

And it definitely was a lifechanging moment for our community here in Tartu, and Estonia!

Thanks for all prayers!

Brian and Byron

2009-05-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

Past 2 days we have had 2 brothers from other side of the world visiting us. It defintely has been God led trip that they have had. Guys are from Ohio, Grace Baptist Church.

Brian is a bald 4 child father. As all the other youthpastors, he is also looking 10 years younger. One of his favourite sayings is: "It is what it is." He also took the risk and went to real sauna.

Brian would be a type of guy I would like to have in my team.

Byron is also special. He loves Russia and says that he is "nikto". Man of nothing. Man, he is a gifted teacher and words of encouragement fly easily out of his mouth. He used every opportunity to talk to our lives even though Estonia wasnt on his radar before.

I casted vision for them. I truly believe that God is doing something big in our pagan and small country. And I believe B & B are already part of it.

There are no borders in the kingdom of God.

When Greta works

2009-05-12T11:39:00.000-07:00

When Greta works then I want to stay late up. As if cat would be out of the house and mice (me and Wilma) would want to party, as the old saying goes.

This is great temptation. Because usually I start watching TV or reading some books. Having snacks and just wondering around. Yes, its cool...

...but next day would be disaster. I would be living corpse. And I have too many responsibilities to be a corpse.

Actually, I wanted to tell also that I feel little bad. I have lost Gretas work-keys and she has had some problems already with that. It just makes me feel that I am retarded and I need to punish myself harder next time.

What a Gospel (joy-message) is that?

Paralyzed rest

2009-05-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

Same moment as pope Benedict XVI was in Jerusalem, in the heart of holocaust, deep dark cave called Yad Vashem, I was on the fift floor of my aparment, boiling spaghettis.

And once popes speech was over and my spaghettis in the stomach, life continued.

But do you know that feeling when your life is just not rolling on? When you cannot press more harder on the pedals and you would rather lay down... and if it would be possible, lay some more.

And you wish that you could end a book. You you wish that there wouldnt be any old tasks coming to your mind that you still havent finished. You just want to be, because you have been too much lately.

During these situations there is a danger that you turn yourself off. You start thinking thoughts that are just circling around, instead of conversations you do noises of animals. And you question the motives of other people... This is like autosave in your mind, because you havent been wise lately to save yourself. This is a phase called paralyzed rest.

And even if i am not a pope, I can feel that I am man getting older. And boiling spaghettis is just not enough.

Opening knots

2009-05-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

Every person has trouble-making questions. For sure they are subjective in their difficulty if I would compare them. One, that is hard nut for me, might not be for you. In example: I ask, how to talk with people without hesitating?

...you might ask why is it so hard to find a spouse, or horse, or something like that.

I am glad that I have a place where I can penetrate all my thoughts and questions. Open knots as old fairy tales tell. It is my joy to belong to Josiah Venture family that is living in Eastern Europe, I have many brothers and sisters who have lived longer with God than me.

And still love and have time for a person whos' shirt says "Märt".

I have got more clear how to plan my dreams in my calendar. Thanks Steve!
I have been convinced why street evangelism still works. Thanks Gelu!
And I have seen why giving your life away matters. Thanks Becca!

Tower guardian

2009-04-22T01:03:00.000-07:00

My uncle is a famous man. He has built many church-towers here and there and now he is positioning as a guardian for a tower that was once a highest building in a world. Oleviste. It is kind of christian Nokia in Estonia.

You can see there more than one millionaire-view for 30-crowns.

Greta is pregnant

2009-04-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

Hello hello. As today showed, by the grace of God we are fruitful! You might see on the pic that there is 8mm tall being in the womb of my wife.

Greta has been feeling sick for some weeks already. It definitely is a difficult time for us (since both of us are working and planning other aspects of life as well). But I believe that God is the child-sculptor and we are mostly His observers.

If everything goes well then the new person will be born about December 2, 2009.

Communistic authority, from God?

2009-04-07T13:06:00.000-07:00

I found old school-book in front of my home. "Estonian Soviet Socialist Republics geography for VI and IX grades". It was in a trash can. And as I took it out from a trash, my dear wife Greta rolled her eyes. Because communism is history.

But in Moldova, where youth are rallying, it is not true. And Russia is called to be only one who is supporting Moldovas government by wishing all the best after the elections... how do you treat the communists?

Once upon a time communism was a trendy word.

But maybe it was more than that? Actually I am rather convinced that communistic power, that ruled over 15 SSR countries was from God. Yes, it was from allknowing and allmighty God! From a God who is Good, Great, Gracious and Glorious Himself! From the same God who let His only son be born in the midst of jews.

Bible says that all types of powers are from God. Even those ones that are seriously misused. This is just like with money. Every penny in our pockets are from God, and they still belong to God. And we are stewards, who need to give report in the end.

Leadership is stewardship.

How do you use your position?

My generation

2009-03-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

I was born on 1984. Little before the babyboomers. But still to the generation that doesnt remember nation with red flags. I belong to the generation that is still trying to find a way out, find a true freedom.

But now it becomes interesting...

We are living in the most pagan country in a world. Can u believe it? And in a same time, this year all 348 churches of Estonia have decided to go out with gospel of Christ. Even biggest evangelist Franklin Graham is coming to town, to preach the Hope.

But...

Viktor Hamm, person who has worked 8 years to get Graham to Estonia, has said that he hasnt seen such a nation before... nation where youth are such passive! BGEA has 60 years of experience, has probably started more Christian movements than any other organization... They have found our little Estonia with a problem.

What is the problem with Estonians?

"Our problem is that we want someone else to solve our problems," said Harri Tali, man who is trying hard to lead the union-work in Estonia. "It is similar with a trolley-bus. We want to have a ride, but not to buy a ticket for that. And then we wine and critisize if we have a bad trolley-ride."

Me and my family are ready to buy the ticket.

Twinkle twinkle

2009-03-21T01:28:00.001-07:00

Guitarplayer for Toby Mac and Matt Redman is teaching us a song what to sing when your child does not want to sleep. I am proud I can know Alex and his heart for our nation, church and family.

Youthwork is deadly

2009-03-10T07:08:00.001-07:00

One american youthworker, who has been in Estonia, got hit by his car.

Headhurt is good

2009-03-02T12:03:00.000-08:00

This weekend we had the biggest training "Burning Bulb" for young leaders there has been probably ever before here in Estonia. Little less than 100 most passionate Christ-followers drove for 3-day long time central city of Estonia, paying money for that.

I definitely was tired from the beginning. I really did not know how it will go. Lot of power-struggles in my head. Because we did it together with baptist-pentecostal-lutheran-methodist-adventist leaders training even freechurch and word of life people.

But as it came out: God was really there. People really got led and equipped and not manipulated. And as GoingUP team (me, Innar, Chris) are having rest-days today and tomorrow, my head hurts.

Showing that I had been really caring for them. This is my job, feed the young sheep. From the country Estonia, most pagan place in the world...

Admin or people

2009-02-25T11:10:00.000-08:00

It probably is old truth, but when we work, our focus gets very easily on the tasks and not the people. On the problems, and not the problemmakers.

And as your workload increases, it is possible to sink into tons of e-mails and even phonecalls, maybe even meetings, but less and less there is time for just for being with people.

Fortunately i do not need positive thinking to get out of it. Good old gospel helps me understand that I do not need to keep the world together. And if my focus is on people, the results are anyways in the hands of Allmighty.

It is actually very humbling to work with people. Tasks, things and whatever administration is in our hands, but people... never.

Debt free

2009-02-17T02:06:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all!

Money matters

2009-02-16T00:08:00.001-08:00

I was very little when ABBA songs were popular in a true way. But now their words are still prophetic.

I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain't it sad
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That's too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball

As storm is right now rolling around the world. Little boat called Estonia which has only 1,4 million people on the board, is trying to survive. They say that in almost a month 100 000 people are out of the boat, without job.

Whos fault is it? Politicians? Greed of a mans heart? Or our Heavenly Father?

Well, I am a non-popular preacher. I really believe that behind the death of money is God. Bible says that God owns it all. Also money. And it also says that God is still Gracious.

But if God owns it all, who am I?

Bible says that I am a steward, and if I become stupid with the money that has trusted in my hands, then God takes it away. Money matters, but trustworthyness matters more.

Do you believe that if your father gives you less money, he still loves you?

Welcome to Estonia-17

2009-02-12T12:40:00.000-08:00

This "17% news" is our last breaking topic here in Estonia. We are very non-religious country. Come and see!

Sad day for Estonia

2009-01-26T12:26:00.000-08:00

It was again one sad weekend in Estonia. Four young people died on our most deadly road. Two of them were young active Christians whos 1 has been really dedicated blogreader. My dear sister in Christ, Liis Kohv.

It is so weird to read her alive comments on my estonian blog when I am knowing that actually she is dead.

They were participating Tartu Kolgata camp and then drove to one evangelistic event in Tallinn. But on the way they crashed to another car and 4 people died. Other went to hospital with shock and back-operation. Man, it is sad!

I know Liisi is close to God, but when I look all the comments on our newspapers articles... then I see lot of anger that is rooted in Estonians. Lot of people are angry in traffic, and release right now their stress in the comments. Hundreds and hundreds.

Our country desparately needs forgiveness. We need more people like Liis.

Cosmos family

2009-01-19T11:58:00.000-08:00

For God so loved the world (Cosmos) that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Well. Me, Greta and Wilma are imago Dejs. I am bloody moon (representing end-times), Greta is sun (that is rising every day) and Wilma is just a black hole (where everything goes).

We had a first church camp. Thank you NorthPoint Community Church for partnering with us. Especially you, Rod! And my best greetings to the leadership of Risttee, for making that 3 days happen.

Cosmos loves God as well. At least we do.

I pay to work

2009-01-06T04:07:00.000-08:00

Those people who like economy and diagnostics have thought that this year my dear nation will have around 9% of lack of work. Last year it was 5,5%. It is rather bad situation.

Now, I am different. I give money to work. Every Monday is a 10hour work-day for me. We pay 1200 crowns a month so I could leave the home and child and have meetings or computer-time.

I do love my job, but till May I have promised to be a father at home. And it has been a great mind-game for me... how you stop thinking of work during night-time? How you watch into your wife eyes and slowly eat if you know that there are about 100 emails in debt, 10 meetings not had and tons of people not saved? (AND no Newsletter sent to you!)

Its very easy to become bitter.

But it is also possible to tell all bitter things to God, even with a bitter voice. He seems to respect that. So I did and told: if His kingdom falls apart here in Estonia, its his problem, not mine. I take care of things I can. And family is one of the few...

Wilmas hairmaking

2008-12-28T02:01:00.000-08:00

It is now Sabbath. Day of restoration and recreation. We are making curls with swe-fin ladies. If you havent seen Wilmas grand-grand-mother, grandmother and aunt in reality, you´ve got a chance now!

Learning to rest

2008-12-25T13:23:00.001-08:00

Last few days have been very different. I have tried to learn how to take the pace down and not think about things outside of home. Man, it has been difficult.

First nights I just saw dreams of doing things. Then I constantly thought of emails to be sent and plans to be made. It has been so, because of last 4 months. I have been stay-at-home dad, working from distance.

I have definitely failed to keep the Sabbath.

And i need to learn it with an humbled heart. It is not beautiful if our lives do not have pauses and rhythms. And if land does not rest, it will crash.

This is also a reason I will take next few days to spend only with God.

Communist and Christian

2008-12-21T03:45:00.000-08:00

This is me and my father in law, Roger. We have spent already couple of years together discussing what the real society should look like. He likes Marx and I like Jesus. Both are talking about building a perfect kingdom.

In many cases, Roger is more christian than other people. For example he loves Russians (read: neighbour) more than usual Estonian. And Finnish people more than usual fin. What about you?

It definitely has been great learning time for me. But I believe, and as Roger is reading the same lines right now with you... Jesus has definitely say many things to Roger as well. There is perfect kingdom to come and we can be part of that!

Today is the shortest day here in Finland (where we are celebrating Christ to come). Only 4,38 minutes is sun up in the sky! What a dark world we live in!

My sisters sing

2008-12-19T05:43:00.000-08:00

This coming week my sisters (Holy Sisters Band) will come out with new CD. Probably you cannot participate that event, but if you want I can send you this beautiful music!

Just send me email with your address: m2rt@goingup.ee

Massive Christ

2008-12-15T12:49:00.000-08:00

It has been very exhausting past weeks. I feel very tired and often oppressed. Definitely there have been many miraculous moments and times where I have had chance to share the Gospel. More than ever before.

Last week I had first physical spiritual attack. Overwhelming. It did not feel so good!

But it made me think that I am on the right track. I am glad that my God is more powerful! Pray for me and pride that is easy to come in. Let me know if I can pray for you!

Why i love gospel

2008-12-09T11:59:00.000-08:00

I must be honest and say that I love gospel. No not gospel, but the Gospel. This message of Christ. As a man with journalist heart I really respect messengers and messages. Last few years I have been practicing talking to the lives of people.

Lot of people are desperate and hopeless. Some just need clarification, some need a person to humble them.

But it took lot of time for me to understand how powerless is the wisdom of men and how powerful is the message of Gospel. As last few weeks have passed I have seen people crying as they hear of the love of God, today I saw 74 year old man, previous director and war-officer, dying in cancer...

And still trying to figure out who is God. And why should he repent.

I felt hopeless sharing the Gospel with my friend Hando. But as now his friend called (who had wanted us to talk into his life and pray for him), I heard that something still HAD CHANGED! Man, it must be Holy Spirit and Gods good hand.

If that man now has hope, I have even more belief in the Gospel. If possible, I will check it out next week.

Snowshow

2008-11-29T11:23:00.000-08:00

Being father

2008-11-24T23:30:00.000-08:00

I do not know how media around you influences you to think, but here in Estonia...

It is not so common to be father at home (as I am). 4% use that opportunity. I do not also know if you get payed for that, but we do. We get average monthly pay, what we used to earn 2 years back.

For me its little less than 350 dollars (260 euros) a month. Not so much, it makes me sometimes jealous of others, but it definitely was my own decision. To be a father, and stay at home.

But what makes me loose my temper is the thing that people in the media more and more often say. "Oh, times have come and roles of sex are changing." Oh no, it is not so.

I am definitely a man and father still, and Greta looks still like woman and plays the role of a mother. Yes, she has perfume and I still am like man, wash not so often myself.

But why Märt you are at fathers-vacation?
1. It has been surveyed that average father spends 2 minutes a week with his child. And I wanted more!
2. That way I am thinking financially into future and if God gives us more children then Greta can have more than minimum mothers-pay.

Glimpse of the funeral

2008-11-22T12:19:00.000-08:00

Elvi Maria Wasberg, Gretas grandmother, moved this week to the heaven. This is a video that gives you a glimpse of swe-fin funeral and if you haven´t heard before, then also a opportunity to hear my wife singing.

Relying on Spirits power

2008-11-20T00:16:00.000-08:00

I am definitely again on the new landmark. First-ever fundraising behind my back, snow on the ground of Estonia, we just formed a new team (of 4!) and we are heading with our family to Finland. Gretas grandmother passed away.

If you have been in more close contact with me, then you probably know that I repented in September. Mark Driscoll, Jeff Vanderstelt, Dave Patty and other godly men led me (probably without knowing it) back to Spirit.

Holy Spirit. How powerful you are?!

I know that I, Märt Saar, am rather powerful man. I can convince people with my tongue. I can make children laugh and close ones cry. I have lot of integrity with my background and family, church as well. I am sitting on so many power-positions that it often leads me back to the temptation:

"rely on Märt and His mighty power!"

John Miller, whos book ("The heart of a Servant Leader") I am reading right now, has reminded me again... You cannot live your life or do your ministry without being Spirit-led. Oh man, even though I am so young I have so many times made my speeches and teachings Märt-or-logic-or-humor-or-creativity centered.

Again and again I need to repent and see how stupid it is. And my life should be always Christ-centered and Spirit-empowered! Otherwise there is no hope, no change, or glory to God.

Pray for me!

Special message

2008-11-18T01:00:00.000-08:00

Bush, Saar ja Palin

2008-11-16T19:31:00.000-08:00

As I traveled around States I had opportunity to meet with Bush and Palin. Even thought for many they are not the best leaders ever, for me it was an honour to shake their hands.

Training leaders

2008-11-14T22:53:00.000-08:00

Heyaho. It is good to be back in Estonia, and man... it is challenging here.

As airplane landed, whole country was in darkness. For me it is kinda symbolic, because for many souls it is so. Estonia has been surveyed to be one of the most secular countries in the world. And I live here!

Right now I am in the basement. It is pentecostal church, just by our government building (Toompea). Our fellow friends from Chicago, WillowCreek are doing with us leadership conference for 300 leaders here is Estonia. I am glad.

It is good also to spend that way time with my earthly father, because on many occasions we just do not meet. And Ago Lilleorg, bishop of Pentecostal movement here, said yesterday evening to me and brother Peep that it is great joy of his to see young generation stepping up in leadership.

It is great joy indeed!

Visitors have tripled!

2008-11-11T08:00:00.000-08:00

I must be glad. There is a reason for that. This blog has tripled its readers in less than 2 weeks! It might be because I just met with you and you wanted to know how is my travel in US.

Not many visited before. About 9 per day (meaning 27 max regular visitors). Now there have been days when I have had 24 different readers per day. It means that there are probably more than 50 foreign visitors outside of Estonia!

I must be glad.

Thank you for visiting, and please do it again. If you are on of the prayer-warriors you definitely have a reason for coming back! Trust me.

Photos of Visionnight

2008-11-08T21:46:00.001-08:00

I am not sure if I ever get back to such glorious hotel-room in US. One table belonged also to me, so that whole bunch of western friends could eat cake with me.

They are Daryl and Betsy, who have taken many of our team-members under their wings. They are lifelong advocates. True fans of estonians.

My dear host Jim (on a right hand) got an amazing opportunity to meet Josiah Venture president, Dave Patty. Who I also consider as my mentor. They were chit-chatting.

One man with a hat. I actually do not know him that well.

Wilmas birthday

2008-11-07T13:38:00.000-08:00

Thank you all who remembered during my travel-time, that Wilma had a birthday! 6November. Greta had some guests over, and she made her choc-cake. It is a bummer that my dear little has rather high Fever. (maybe because of teeth)

Greta took 2days off. I am glad that now both of them can spend also time together.

Yesterdays vision-night was a great one. I would give 9 point out of 10. Many said that Dave Pattys speech was best part of it (yes, even here in Stanleys-city). Indeed, evening was inspiring and challenging in a same time. I got at least 2 supporters which I am very glad of!

My next destination will be Obamas-city. Famous pizza and wind-town. I am waiting forward to see also some of my blog-readers there!

Goodbye Vietnam (interview)

2008-11-04T23:29:00.000-08:00

It is 5th November. In Estonia time shows 6:30. This is the time when my daughter Wilma has a first birthday.

In a same time, this is the day, 4th November 11:30 pm, time when United States of America has a new president and he is Barack Obama. This is the same moment when my daughter became 1 year old!

New president of US is black-skinned, socialistic and totally different leader. He is 44th president here in America.

And now! I would like to talk shortly with one of the citizens who voted for Obama, Jim Campbell. Lets look how his attitude toward the future looks like and what is waiting in times to come both for him and probably the whole world...

The most important question

2008-11-04T17:58:00.000-08:00

I just made 5 videos in Atlanta, Buckhead area, asking different people questions. It is a histroical day for United States, as first polls are closing down now...

Who is Märt?

2008-11-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

"Man, you must know it all," as my bro Adam would say here in Atlanta. "You could write a book about that."

About what?

Actually, I am sure that most people shouldn't write a book about me! Well, at least not about my work or role description. I find it sad, because I try to introduce myself here in US, but so often people are thinking I am just a church-partner of NorthPoint, being part of Risttee church. And the main guy there is Peep.

It is 25% true.

I have given actually my life to whole Estonia and especially young leaders. Not youth leaders, but young leaders. Those, who shape businesses, plant churches and yes, those who vision-cast this new generation also in churches.

I find my job to be very important.

And I find it confusing if all that people know about my fatherland is that we are post-communist and probably we do not have even our own language.

"Tavaline eestlane solvuks selle peale," as I would say about that.

Soldier father

2008-11-01T19:06:00.000-07:00

Brian is a soldier. Having had his wars in Iraq and Afganistan for years. And even other places. But actually he is relatively young guy. Yes, older than me, but still ready to eat steak with me.

My dear friend Adam introduced him to me.

"My biggest flaw is drinking," said Brian with deep voice of a soldier and laughed with masculinity. His hear was nicely cut straight, but his eyeglasses still give him a smart look. "But you know, everyone has their flaw. For some these are relationships, for some something else..."

What I really liked about Brian was the fact that he never looked me up-down. Because, what do I have to offer him with an experience of an Estonian army? Or why should he bother explaining me what one or another thing means in steak-menu?

He has four children. One he wanted stop coming, but then still let come. "I wouldn't imagine my life without that last kid."

Actually, one of his key moments of life was the day when his wife asked him to stop going to war. As a lovely believer woman she is, she never threatened him with divorce, but simply said: you have two options... you know your family or time passes and you won't any more.

Brian made the right choice. And so we were there, drinking. He his beer and me my orange juice. But Brian is actually still a soldier... they go with their family shooting. Both with 800m rifles and also with compound-bows. For me - honestly - that sounds neat!

Big Truck

2008-10-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

Crackhead B

2008-10-30T22:28:00.000-07:00

This was a day Lord has made. After sharing a vision to Atlantans, police officer called Adam showed me his patrol-area. And lot of crackheads!

Man. World we live, is a dark one. Even this big and shiny Atlanta. Can u imagine, in every hundred meters there are gangs of people selling crack? There are prostitutes wondering around the gas-stations.

And on the dark church-corner there is a crackhead B. That person was a miserable one. When Adam introduced me to here as a preacher and asked if I could pray for her. She said: pray for safety. (I will do that)

Of course she didnt take it too seriously, because the addiction was devastating one, but u get the point... Here, in the world, not too far from us live people who do not have hope any more.

Or you think they do?

Iron ravens

2008-10-28T21:39:00.001-07:00

It is total challenge for me, this 2x3 capital campaign in the States. Maybe its because of Bill Hybels who said that fundraising is a test of a leadership.

Also the words of my mentor, Dave Patty look to be prophetic! "This is about glorifying God and lifting up His Name!" For me it means that being in US is much more than deepening relationships or asking money.

Let me give you one example of today. Man, it was cool!

This morning I woke up with a worry in my heart. I needed to get to the Lennu airport, but I did not have taxi-money. Thoughts went traveling and I remembered my small flock at home and their needs. Who will help Greta out? Who would like to have my tons of prayer-cards? How can I make all that trip?!

Fortunately my Abba was close. He showed me the verses about prophet Elijah, as I was lying on my mattress. Man, it was powerful... but I didnt notice it until the flights in the sky...

There were many miracles, this day, 28th October.

First. Taxi-meter was surprisingly low, even driver couldnt understand it, and me and Daniel together had exact money (111.-).

Secondly. I was hungry. And suddenly ravens started feeding me. Those iron ravens, in the sky.

But Elijah story didnt end that way. He also met one single woman who feeded him that starving era... it came out that I was sitting together with Nancy, who is working closely in Israel. She did not only get my first prayer-letter, helped me get new planetickets, but also gave me out of nowwhere 100 dollars. Without knowing me, without reason to trust.

Abba is good.

Come help

2008-10-22T14:01:00.000-07:00

For a while I havent made any public call. But not that hour has come... Märt Saar is asking his readers (yes, you too) so that they would take time and think how they could support our family.

This is because I will go to States for 3 weeks and Greta will stay at home with Wilma.

What makes this moment difficult is the fact that Greta has to continue working, and I do not have any other option but fly over the ocean. We will have there 2x3campaign, where we hope to find from 11-different states (I will be in Atlanta and Chicago) support to our organization and family.

1. Support. If you feel you want to invest in the ministries vision or our family, do you have any friends who would like to meet me or our team while we are (28th Oct - 8th Nov) at States? Or would you like to start supporting us on financial needs?
2. Pray. Even if you are places like China, Prague or Kuni, would you pray for us specifically in front of our God most high?

Here is also a small video-clip. That way you get a more insight that this US-trip is not just fun-time. No it isn't. It is spiritual work (but yes, I will do it in joy).

Next Generation from Josiah Venture on Vimeo.

How to spend 1min with your daughter

2008-10-21T06:48:00.000-07:00

It is said that average father spends 2 minutes every week with his daughter. I must admit, that for me it is also a temptation to spend more time working than with my beloved one... but I will show you what did we did on my birthday with Wilma.

This is 1 minute of our life.

Saaremaa socks

2008-10-18T13:24:00.001-07:00

Some people just are lucky. That person gets yellow envelope which includes photo of a lamb, which has encouraging words on its back... plus pair of white woollen socks! Socks from the smiling lamb.

I got Saaremaa woollen socks.

Thanks Juhan for crafting me such! I feel I am and I am important. There probably is not any better encouragement than getting such surprise from the young leader.

How to kill lust

2008-10-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

One commentator in my estonian blog provocated me to think more about lust. This was a woman from Pärnu... how is it then with the Lust?

Everyone is burning in the lust, right! They say that you cannot go with children any more to the mall - immediately there are tears, screaming and undone zippers of the jackets. For me it is difficult to pass the coffee-house, my wife notices really quickly cake-slices. For sons of men it is hard to push the new button on the remote control, when there on the TV are good old lovescenes.

For elderly people, there are different kind of lusts. Even they have those, and different kinds.

Does self-leading help? That positive thinking type of approach?
Or self-flagellation? This is also autosuggestion, just old-school method.

Of course it doesnt help. And tearing out your eyes or chopping away your hand, it really does not help. You still lust.When you are blind, you lust blindly. It does not help to say: actually I really do not have any lusts right now - I actually want and need it. Its lying, because people really do not need most of the things... at least I dont!

Where then do the Christians belong with their lust-fights? As we have heard they should belong to those positively thinking people, but again... those well-known peas under the knees... How then christians, including Märt Saar, then fight with their lusts?

To be honest, I cannot. And actually, I go futher, I am not even trying to. When I become angry on Wilma or when I am egoist with Greta, I have understood more and more, that just by myself I am not really a good man for them. And it is impossible to be like Christ. I really am not like Christ!

But. If I am with Christ (by choice and also in private) every day... well, then I become a little more like he (maybe this is a moment you remember that story about vinetree and branches who stay in it?).

Also our famous Paul says in a nice way: "look, you believerman, you can have Spirit living in you, but only if you would walk in it as well... then is the time when you do not have to fight with your sinful nature. Spirit himself is fighting with it."

In other words. As long as I try to fight against my lusts I am idol for myself. And this idol is fallen already in its birth.

What intrests you in me?

2008-10-12T09:28:00.000-07:00

Some years ago as I started enthusiastic blogging I investigated what makes blog good or great. I found out some simple things. Firstly, it is not wise to write for myself (so no-one would read it) and secondly, it is not good to be populist (loosing away my real self).

Now the new era has started. I have a question for You:

What shall I write about, so it would interest you? (I asked the same question in estonian blog and I am already interested if you will answer differently or if at all!)

PS. Now the commenting is possible even for anonymos ones. So feel free.

Communistic breakthrough

2008-10-11T12:04:00.000-07:00

Now it happened. At last. Neighbor of ours visited us. For a first time... no other neighbor has done it. It's not because we are so mean or something, but because of this huge blockhouse where WE JUST HAVE TO LIVE together.

250-270 people living in a same house, without knowing each others name.

Now we know at least Klavdia. Russian woman, older than 60, having some golden teeth in mouth. We asked her to visit us. And she did! What a breakthrough in that communistic environment!

She brought gifts, but didn't eat much. In a same time, she really liked to talk. We also, but we didn't understand each other so much. But something still. "Rebjoonok" for example.

I got to know what health-problems you can have and how its possible to have 11 children. What an exciting evening it was! But most grateful I am for Greta and her gift of hospitality (yes, Holy Ghost can give even that!).

Conclusion: it is good to know your neighbors . Or what about you?

Do u know your culture?

2008-10-08T12:19:00.000-07:00

Even if you are not a missionary (or person with gift of an apostle), it is useful to know what culture you are in. And what and why are people thinking, reacting and living as they are.

What do you know about Estonia?

So. It is small and wannabe-ambitious? But what else? Okay, its post-communist, innovative and secular. But can u explain the reality I live more? What stories did my grandparents use to tell me? How have we been forced to think? Who are our greatest heroes and thinkers?

Or what about your country? What heritage u are having, what scars have your parents been bareing? What winds use to blow in the fields of your history?

Listening to one bold preacher Mark Driscoll I got inspired to learn more about my culture, and my people. I did not like the books by Tammsaare (guy on 25 crowns), but now I understand more of his, that old writers influence. How important was handwriting of his that wrote so publicly those first atheistic lines in our memories!

Or the trains in the forties. Or forced campaigns in the sixties. Or great fruitfulness songs that previous generations of Estonians so dearly used to sing. Do I still read the magazines written for young estonian army-guys, do I notice what message our young pop-singers try so desperately cry out? Do I know what icons we are putting on our stamps?

I want to live in this culture. Because it is the world I am.

Difficult decisions

2008-09-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

Year has passed.

As a person who is taking responsibility I have studies something. For example a thing that it is not useful to be brown-nose. Or that, if you have a situation where you gotta choose between very good and very-very good, and you have to say "no" to one, then this "no" has to come still boldly. And it doesn't matter at that time if anyone gets hurt or not.

How to make difficult decisions then?

Those people who make difficult decisions wisely, they live beautiful life. And I want that my everlasting life would be beautiful.

I have decided that if there is a conflict, then I still put my reputation into the game and say even with tears in eyes that there has been a person who has hurted me, but I still want to take responsibility, confess, ask forgiveness and forgive myselfe. I want to practice it in the next days to come.

I have decided that if there has to be done something on the name of God, I will still do it. Even if I am the only person in Estonia. In the rain, without partners or auditorium. That even then I will be doing what He says.

I have decided that if my leadership-style has to change, so that we could make a next step with our organization then I will change it. Even if it isn't favourable by all. And even if I do not like it.

Last year, same time, 21st september I decided to become spiritual leader in Estonia. God talked to me in the Czech mountains and I did go back to my homeland to lead our younger generation closer to Him.

And I am still joyful. Yes, it is difficult to be sometimes. But I am joyful. And I have peace.

Greta 26

2008-09-17T11:45:00.001-07:00

My dear wife and our families precious mother Greta got year older. Now she is older than quatro-century. 26 years.

We are very honored of that day and age.

Till what time can I buy milk?

2008-09-17T01:53:00.001-07:00

In Maxima, there are many interesting people, especially during mid-day. And as this maxima is in the midst of stone-houses, then there must be many interesting citizens. As interesting as me.

There was one drunk old man. Looked like santa, but drunk. Was joking there at 9 o'clock, money in his hands. I went to buy some drinks for children, he as you can guess, drinks for uncles.

Then he became frustrated. "Why cannot I buy drink!"

Ladies in their boxes started explaining that time is too little. You have to read the law from the door and wait at least hour to buy some alcohol. Uncle santa then starts walking around those small alleys that maxima has in it. He is trying to find something good.

"I will then buy milk... i will buy milk," he shouts to all, but actually to himself. "Where is this milk? Where is milk?"

As I pay for my drinks, I make my best smile that day. All this because Id like to see more people smiling around these block-houses. Walking out of the door this uncle makes me grin again. He shouts a question sincerely from himself and all: "But till what time can I buy the milk?"

Grandmom 77

2008-09-12T12:35:00.001-07:00

Gods will, but without me

2008-09-08T12:40:00.000-07:00

It is a strange thing to be confronted with a new type of temptation. Greta is now in studying surgeries, until afternoons. I am at home with Wilma, giving her the dream of young ladies lifetime - to spend her most valuable days of her life with father...

...but in a same time I am saying to hundrends if not thousands things "no". No to churchwork, no to para-churchwork. No to people. No to people I know and don´t know. I am like a castrated cat or pruned tree.

I was so happy that during last year God has used me so much all over Estonia. There are so many people who have found Christ, and so many churches have found new speed. I have had a chance to meet with tens of people, who I even couldn´t dream of meeting...

And I called that all "Gods will". You know, for a believer there is no other place to be, than His will. For us it is good, perfect and favourable. It is salvation for everyone. It is best place to be!

But now, during the first weeks of September, I am as if not bearing any fruit. Do not get me wrong, this is my own idea and decision. I believe that even now what I do, this is Gods will. And for me there is no other better place than being with Wilma.

Still, it is so difficult to leave behind so many things I was working on. And during that leaving, I do not know how will my fruits be used. It is so hard to trust my working-partners on a spiritual field, because many things still have my name on... there are so many decisions made behind my back. And so little discussing with me.

This is a school of humility. To be with home with a child, knowing that somewhere there is happening Gods will, but for me there is now place right now. My temptation is that my will has to be Gods will.

Oh, if anyone could understand poor me, the castrated one.

3 generations take the point

2008-09-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

As you all know it doesn´t take much to lose the point of something. Same is in the family-trees. It doesn´t need much for grandchildren not to understand the tradition, but to smash it all and rather discover a new wheel.

"In what sense our grandfather was a pastor," some children may ask. "So what?"

Actually, you do not need more than 1 generation to lose most of the information. For example, one of my sisters struggeled for a long time with a reason of taking part of the communion. Everything is so serious and sad! She knew what to do... but had lost the reason "why" behind it.

Those who remember my past summer and the andventures with small Maya know that even toys can lose the real meaning, whole point. I saw on the floor old-type telephone, with circular numberplate. But she said no, "this isn´t any kind of phone, that is a dog!"

I would say that this is megachallenge. And I imagine that this 3 generation take-the-point can be fatal for not only in families and churches, but wherever. I wish we could have wisdom to reason to those small ones what are we really doing and why so.

In other case they start thinking that our legacy is bunch of dogs. But that is just not true.

Tree, ground and forest

2008-09-04T12:57:00.000-07:00

Lets be honest, forests are so different and so are trees in them. Here in Western-Finland forests are stony and sharp. But as all the other forests, here are also some weak and small tree-children side-by-side with massive christmas trees.

I am friend of the nature and big time self-analyzer. And as I was pushing babycart, I thought of parallels between man-and-tree. After that, I took time to sit behind bible and see if these thoughts are reliable. Result was in three categories.

Every tree has a ground where to stick. This is a place where it gets its food, exists and gets into big nature conflicts.

Every tree is a one of a kind, whole life. This consists of the character that needs pruning, fruitfulness and of course, unique breed.

Every tree belongs to some type of forest. This is a place where it relates to others, meets unexpected dangers and takes care of offsprings.

Actually bible is talking all about that. How to be rooted... how to manage with myself... and what to do in a world. This is how my paperwork ended with 9 questions that also every blogpeeper can ask from him/herself.

Ground

1. How do you feed yourself in the Christ-ground (habits)?

2. Why do you exist?
3. In what way Gods hope (community) is endangered?

Tree

4. What has to re-new in you?
5. How much goodness-righteousness-truth (fruits) is around you?

6. Who are you in God?

Forest

7. What can you do around yourself?

8. What do you stay away conciously?

9. Who are you leading into future?

Märt and Mihkel are encouraging

2008-09-03T06:04:00.000-07:00

Over the last season of my life I have met more and more young guys who are talking about their eagerness to go the foreign countries bibleschools or stay in place, but in the same way - learn God, officialy. Why is it so?

I have two theories:

1. There has been sudden increase of interest in that special group of people and this will be only good for Estonia.
2. It is just me who is more into that topic and circle of people than ever before and I really am noticing now spiritual interest on the root-level.

Both variants are good. And it is me (who is going to be father-at-home) and Mihkel (who is leading a lot in pentecostal movement and is also director of one bible-school) are encouraging: young brothers around our homeland, learn as much as you can! Your knowledge will be more precious than gold and more fatal than the traffic on our not-so-loved roads.

As I see, bible- and theologyschools are like our actors-school on Toompea (most important hill in our country), there is not so big interest for oldies! They are too built out, and it is hard to shape them on. But you are different!

Grandmothers old clock

2008-08-31T10:38:00.001-07:00

When I was sitting on a toilet pot, then Wilma had a need to come on my lap. And after some of whining she got there. Its better to have piece on a pot than whining somewhere else. And when Wilma was on my lap, this little daughter of mine noticed something...

On a wall there was a clock. This old and with old-looking font. Tic-tac-tic-tac. As if grandmothers old seconds where in a room. World was suddenly still. And Wilmas small eyeballs as well.

She stared at that time-machine. There must have been something attractive in it. She forgot tears of the past and even my lap. She was staring the clock and reached her hand...

...reached her hand as far as possible. As if she was the God on the Michelangelos painting, between the clouds and bad angels. But Wilmas hand is actually very short. Shorter than measurestick (ruler). But distance between her and the clock is more than a meter.

Time is moving tic-tac. I am still sitting. But wilma is reaching and reaching, and reaching.

Only small people can do with their big dreams like this. Reach out their small hand to hopeless reaches, never getting them. Always hoping and believing. Old people in a same time can sit on a pot and even not notice the clock in front of them.

If you had a chance to dream, where would you reach your hand? Even if it was a long as two or three measuresticks.