Paralyzed rest

Same moment as pope Benedict XVI was in Jerusalem, in the heart of holocaust, deep dark cave called Yad Vashem, I was on the fift floor of my aparment, boiling spaghettis.

And once popes speech was over and my spaghettis in the stomach, life continued.

But do you know that feeling when your life is just not rolling on? When you cannot press more harder on the pedals and you would rather lay down... and if it would be possible, lay some more.

And you wish that you could end a book. You you wish that there wouldnt be any old tasks coming to your mind that you still havent finished. You just want to be, because you have been too much lately.

During these situations there is a danger that you turn yourself off. You start thinking thoughts that are just circling around, instead of conversations you do noises of animals. And you question the motives of other people... This is like autosave in your mind, because you havent been wise lately to save yourself. This is a phase called paralyzed rest.

And even if i am not a pope, I can feel that I am man getting older. And boiling spaghettis is just not enough.