Pacifier making you a father

As you’re putting a pacifier into a baby’s mouth, you don’t even understand how much you grow. I have a six-months-old baby at home named Wilma, who sometimes likes to cry in the middle of the night.

As a father I want to be a good protector and educator. To take time for her and truly watch her becoming a beuty. At the same time, in Rumania it was recently made a study that showed that so- called-fathers at an average are spending 2 minutes a week with their children.

Two minutes.

A warning signal to me aswell! And honouring the truth I have to admit that there really are moments when I would like to put my head-of-the-family-head under the sand. And wait for Greta to do everything at home. Also to put the pacifier in Wilmas mouth.

At the same time, lately I feel that the Bible has directed me to a greater wish to serve. I feel that my task as a father is to grow in patience (also through pain).

In one word I’ve understood that to be a good teacher also at home – to make the gift work – I have to grow in patience, forbearance. As Paul and Jacob put it.

So. Some of the last nights. I wake up and feel how I have to get ahead of Greta and pull my tired feet up under me. To walk through a dark room to the cradle, where a young lady with a wrinkled face stands on her knees.

And sometimes she even just continues crying to get her will through. A stubborn little thing.

So I put the pacifier in her mouth, lift her back to the side, hold my hand on her and whisper: good night! Through this, she learns how to sleep alone as children do. Me, on my part, learn how to take my first steps.

As a father

The sending of a thought costs 2,07

We are thinking beings. And as we are thinking, some are doing it more than others. I am even thinking as I am writing. And you are thinking as you are reading.

They say that thoughts move at a very high speed. I can think myself to the moon or even by God. And with the same speed I can think 15 years back in time or to tomorrow morning at the breakfast table.

We can also send our thoughts. For example: when someone sneezes or his is nose is itching. When someone stares at you or right through your back then the thoughts are like direct messages.

But the man has created one thing more associated with thoughts. This is, sending thoughts with prize. Today at the town hall square I saw that caffe truffe had opened – it reminded me that Greta wants to eat cake there sometimes and that she will be happy when someone thinks of her…

...so I thought I could send her an SMS: should we go there and have cake on our date night?

As you can imagine, she got happy receiving my thought. But this thought costed me 2,07 Estonian crowns. The thought she sent me back cost 1,33 EEK. By the way, last month I sent around 104 thoughts that did cost 215,36 EEK.

But there are also thoughts that are completely free of charge. They don’t cost you a thing or cent. For example, the thought you are reading right now, my post for You.

But otherwise, thoughts are expensive. And now, try to think about that!

Small prayervideo

This is a prayervideo for youthleaders in Estonia.

Profession ruins man

I don’t want to be on a God-field to talk about God-stuff. And I don´t want to work where-ever so it makes me talk about what-ever. I don´t want my profession to determine my thoughts and I don’t want to propagate what the frames around me propagate.

Of course I believe that Märt is the same yesterday and today. But is it true?

Some pastors talk about God because they are pastors.
Some value dads just because they are dads.
But some just talk always about what’s on their minds, making same stupid facial expressions and as-usual noises.

I don´t know how is it with you, but I would like to belong to the last group. Even if I won´t look very intelligent.

Superwilma

Creating blockbuster characters

I’m still awake one hour more and I’m thinking about characters. It is the day of the upcoming GU (the 51^st one!) and I’m gonna walk-run-crawl on the stage of Vanemuine theatre.

This time, I’m gonna do it as an actor.. but before today I haven’t had such a long list of different characters!

And actually I haven’t been this old ever before either. And never before have I been challenged in so many different acting-styles at once. And if this wasn’t enough, I also have to be able to shine together with the favourite of many, Daniel.

Now. As much as I have thought about theatre-issues, there are a few things I remind myself when I make up characters. I think that a nice-living-funny character should be:

1. Special. Differing from the ordinary. In some way spectacular.

2. Confident. To be confident even when playing insecure. The actor has to be able to laugh at himself inside of this character.

3. Unique. He has to be created for this moment, not being a copy of anything earlier or a beginning of anything to come.

4. Stereotypical. In him, there has to be something ancient factor that makes him funny. Something stereotypical. (for example man-but-a-woman, big-but-clumpsy, small-but-evil)

5. Alive. This might be the hardest one, but he should play for the last rows of universe, not only to the auditory. He has to be worth of playing.

And now it is time to see how I live out my theories...

It is written...

I am sure I have a lot of sceptical, but still open-minded readers. I have to be honest with you and say that also I get hurt. For example by middle-aged Estonians.

As I discuss with people of that generation, I read between the lines some kind of bitterness towards the Bible. Their attitude seems to be as if they once a upon a time were like me (23 years-old) and believed just like me.

But not anymore.

Bitterness. Not that kind of wise, settled understanding. Rather some type of sour recalling of an apple that they hoped to be sweet.

Some of them say that the Bible is a question of interpretation. Then there are those who say that the Bible is very narrow-minded (it seems to me that most that typoe of remarks are connected with sexual relationships). And some are stuck behing things in the Bible that they can’t rationally explain (who could have written the prayer in Getsemane, when everyone was asleep?)

But as I look at the Bible, I see that Jesus (imagine: God in a human skin) behave in another way with the holy scripture.

He is 12 year old and in the midst of celebrations in Jerusalem, sitting among teachers, listening to them and asking questions.

He is back in his home in Nazareth and opens the scroll of one book in the synagoge and comments: ”today this Scripture has been fulfilled!”

He is with the ruler of the world, Satan, in the midst of desert rocks and strikes cruelly back with sentences like “it is written”, “it’s written”, “it’s said”.

Our middle-aged generation is disappointed in “the written-is-truth”. They are few, who take the Bible really as it is written. And in doing that, they have lost the ability to see the Bible as it says it is, being life-changing and in function. And as if they have won as a prize a sour apple.

But I would rather learn from Jesus.

Teachers are lame

Today again two persons said that their teacher is lame. Interesting why do they say that?

I’ve had more than 13 English teachers. Actually all of them were lame. The first one was especially lame, because she made me stand all the time.

In the same time, there are teachers who don’t make you stand at all, actually you can make them stand. These are the teachers who are lame because they so badly want to be good. It’s a fact that you can be late to the lesson with no worries and throw paper-airplanes in some classes. In the same time, some classes can make your hands sweat and you even have your little notebook on the table corner.

Most certainly, it is a question about the mouth and the heart of the pupil. But of course, it is easy to earn minus points as a teacher as well.

If I were a teacher, I would always…

1. know the material in a fanatic way
2. enter the classroom first and leave last
3. surprise those big ones with something small
4. see the connections with life
5. invite pupils to the blackboard and uplift them
6. pray for their families and future
7. spy on other teachers classes
8. study myself more than anyone else

What mistakes wouldn’t you do as a teacher?

Very believer

I met two elders today. Black suit elders, having signs in front. They had dark-blue books of mormon with them. I had gray-black bible on the table.

Weapons were there, but no fight this time.

"Is your wife like you?"

What do you mean.

"A very believer."

Heartpain

When me and Greta were today at the cinema, then she wasn´t so pleased with me. Why weren´t you looking at me as well, at least sometimes? My simple answere was that in a strange way - watching this chick-flick - I felt as if I had a hurting heart.

There was pain for the people. I don´t know why... but this happens sometimes. You see symbols in the movie and think about some certain persons, their choices and situations. Some have been doing stupid decisions... some are victims of stupid decisions of other people...

There are different kind of people.

Those, who are hurting other. Those, who hurt your heart. And those who have hurting heart.

I think I belong to the last group.

But actually. I believe as a believer, that these are the situtions when you have to pray for certain people intensly. As if Holy Spirit would put personally someone on your heart. And later, sometimes only a moment, sometimes days, or even years -- you get to know, that this hurt was there for a reason.

And im glad that even pain exist.